The Ladder Theory part I: Foundations of Ladder Theory

Foundations of Ladder Theory

    

The ladder theory is a theory of adult male/female interaction. It has its basis in many years of sociological field testing. Ladder Theory was first conceptualized in 1994 in Exeter, California USA, by Dallas Lynn, with acknowledgement to the contribution made by Jared Whitson. 

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?

 Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.

 Sally: Why not? 

Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way. 

Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. 

Harry: No, you don't. 

Sally: Yes, I do. 

Harry: No, you don't.

 Sally: Yes, I do. 

Harry: You only think you do. 

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge? 

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you. 

Sally: They do not. 

Harry: Do too. 

Sally: They do not. 

Harry: Do too. Sally: How do you know? 

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. 

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive. 

Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too. S

ally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

 Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story. 

    Before we get to the core of the ladder theory let's introduce a few lemmas. 

Lemma 1:Every time you meet someone you give them a quick mental rating. Just how this is done is based on your sex, like so:

It should be noted that this is not an entirely conscious process. To make it clear here's an illustrative example of what really happens:

•John Meets Jane 

•Then John Meets Maria

Now the ladder theory description goes like this: 

 1. John Meets Jane 

2. John sizes her up based on the above criterion

 3. John puts her on the ladder 

4. John meets Maria 

5. John sizes her up based on the above criterion

 6. John puts her on the ladder above Jane 

     You can recognize this has gone on because John says " I'd like to have sex with Jane, but not as much as I want to have sex with Maria" . I think that everyone has heard (or even said) this or something like it enough times for us to accept it as axiomatic and move on. It dates back to our cavemen ancestors seeking to mate with the best gene donor for their offspring as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next. You might be thinking, " Well what about Jane and Maria ?" We'll get to them next.