Thinking out loud

If the link dies, listen to Joni Mitchell Both sides now  Just finished Graeme Simsion's "The best of Adam Sharp". To say I find myself in the main character and his story (an old love from 22 years before pops up in his email) is an understatement. While what happens afterwards will be far from my reality at least, some of his thoughts are my own as well.    First of all, he feels that even talking to his former lover is a form of affair because he feels it needs to be kept secret from his current partner.    Second, how certain songs punctuated their story and where shortcuts to those memories they had together. Happy to hear I did that 10 years before the book came out.  Most important though, it's his realisation that his current partner is fighting against a memory. The Angela in his mind is 23, the real one is 45 and has 3 kids.. You can't fight a memory. Or you shouldn't at least. It's good to have memories, but they don't keep you warm at night...

  If link fails, listen to John Lenon Imagine  Bit of a rant coming, brace yourself.  I have this one "acquaintance" that constantly feels he is in some way superior or better thanks to his convictions. He is a self confessed progressist and atheist and he constantly likes to remind us how much better he is compared to a religious person or a conservative person. He doesn't do shit to improve the world around him other than talk to whoever will listen to his ideas , doesn't help anyone (other than a 2 euro per month donation to a charity building a hospital which he seems to think is a pinnacle of humanity, even if he could easily afford 100 times that). Used to be pissed off by his self appreciation, tried explaining the problem to him but it's pointless.    In short, if you want respect (at least mine) do something to make the world better, take away some suffering, help, leave something behind other than words.     I finaly gave up and after pr...

 https://youtu.be/uy7ZRRDkWw4?si=mXc3jNyaqFzQhc7S Listen to   Tchaikovsky, Pyotr Ilyich: The Seasons, Op. 37a No. 6 June "Barcarolle " 17 years after the events in my life happened, I've red Feodor Dostoyevsky's White Nights and realised a number of similarities to my own experiences: 1 main character outright describes himself as a dreamer. I was a dreamer, both in my own head and by any independent view of my thoughts at the time 2 main male character meets the main female character Nastenka on the anniversary of 1 year of her love story. I first talked to mine on her 2 year anniversary of her love story.  3 Both myself and the main character were warned about falling in love with the main female character. Ok, I wasn't forbidden to do that, but close enough  4 In both stories the main female character gets very excited on the sight of her original love interest to the point of completely loosing sight of the other person by their side (this one was the trigger ...

 She says Pablo Alboran Perodname He answers with Pablo Alborán - Si hubieras querido  I spent 17.5 years thinking I failed because she didn't love me. Because she didn't love me how I dreamed I wanted to be loved.  But even after she made it (painfully) clear I wasn't to be the father of her children, she still wanted to be around me. She still wanted to make me better, as I also wanted the same for her, to make her be the best version of herself possible.  What is love if it's not wanting all the best for the other person? If love is being so altruistic that the other person's happiness comes before yours, that you are happy they have found their better half, then it was love. It wasn't what I wanted, but she was honestly happy for me and I was happy for her, than that makes it love. 

  If the link doesn't work, listen to Jacques Brel VESOUL     Perfection is nowhere to be seen in human relationships, and in this case it means that sometimes you don't get exactly what you want, and neither does your partner. A good compromise would mean that you each get at least a part of what you want. A bad one means, like Brel you get nothing and the other one gets what they want (he wanted to see her sister but  they saw her mum). I suppose there are the disastrous compromises where no one get what they want, but I suspect those may be so rare we'll call them an exception.      My whole job is reaching compromises in order for things to  work out for all stakeholders. I'm not the best at it but decent enough. I wish I was at least half as good at it in my own relationship. I'm not really much the one for conflict, even if I'm probably not a people pleaser, but at home at least I more often than not  choose the path of least resistance...

  If the link doesn't work, listen to Bill Withers -Lean on me           Last weekend I've met up with some friends I've known for half my life at this point. Life, children, work have kept us busy so we probably haven't seen each other in a bit over 2 years. The hugs I got (and gave ) where epic, and not due to static electricity.  It got me thinking about how many types of hugs there are and how they make you feel: The weird smelling aunt you see once a year at a family function The goodbye hug to a coworker who taught you alot but is now leaving the company The hug from your wife's third cousin's wife when she comes to your wedding and you never saw her before in your life Your partner's hug when you've been away for a long time and you see each other at the airport. The hug you give your mother when your father has passed away.  The hug from the guy with the "Free hugs" placard in the photo.    All of those and many more are pub...

  If the link doesn't work, listen to Bill Withers -Lean on me           Last weekend I've met up with some friends I've known for half my life at this point. Life, children, work have kept us busy so we probably haven't seen each other in a bit over 2 years. The hugs I got (and gave ) where epic, and not due to static electricity.  It got me thinking about how many types of hugs there are and how they make you feel: The weird smelling aunt you see once a year at a family function The goodbye hug to a coworker who taught you alot but is now leaving the company The hug from your wife's third cousin's wife when she comes to your wedding and you never saw her before in your life Your partner's hug when you've been away for a long time and you see each other at the airport. The hug you give your mother when your father has passed away.  The hug from the guy with the "Free hugs" placard in the photo.    All of those and many more are pub...