Thinking out loud

 In case the youtube link dies, listen to Carelss Whisper-George Michael  It'a revisit of this earlier post that was prompted by reading  is Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by  Willard F. Harley Jr. and the the chapter on the most important emotional needs "Conversation  Unlike sex, conversation is not a need that can be met exclusively in marriage. Our need for conversation can be ethically met by almost anyone. B ut if it is one of your most important emotional needs, whoever meets it best will deposit so many love units, you may fall in love with that person. So if it's your need, be sure that your spouse is the one who meets it the best and most often. Men andwomen don't have too much difficulty talking to each other during courtship. That's a time of information gathering for both partners. Both are highly motivated to discover each other's likes and dislikes, personal background, current interests, and plans for the future. But after...

  If the youtube link fails, listen to Pink-Just give me a reason I suppose this is a folow up of this post https://howtobeinadultrelationships.blogspot.com/2025/12/elements-of-psychology-should-be-taught.html Even if you know a bit about psichology, that onne usualy focuses on a single personn annd ther traits annd problems in relation with the enviroment aorund them, not necesarily about how people behave when in a romantc relationship (or an amicable one for that). Imagine how cool would be to teach teenagers that in highschool? But we don't (or at least not anuwhere that  know of we don't). So how do we learn about how to behave in a relationship? Obvously, for those lucky enough to have them, from watching our parents. Sometimes I get scared myself on how much I mirror my father's vehaviour towards my mother , probaby because I'm looking at the "bad habits" but now that I actively svan it, I supose I'm also replicatinng some of the good ones.      On ...

     I'm old enough to remember Facebook (even though I resisted getting an account )  that only showed updates from your contacts. But with the advent of ads and the need to retain users watching those adds, FB started showing "suggested posts" from people or groups you didn't know. Since rage is apparently the best emotion to keep you engaged, almost all the algorithms will try to show content that will do that. I see it on Facebook and Reddit (don't have an X account), not so much on Youtube or Instagram, and it's basically showing you a whole lot of people doing things wrong or from the opposite side of your political spectrum so you can correct them or explain they are wrong. This, of course, doesn't end well, as people are naturally resistant to being told they are wrong, and some, with a certain level of education or below will even lash out if told a truth that inconveniences their beliefs. Unsettling, I know, but because you write more on this typ...

 So I asked Chat GPT (don't we all) what a midlife crisis in men and this is what he came up with. My comments below.  . What Is a Midlife Crisis? A midlife crisis is a period of emotional turmoil or deep self-reflection that some men experience, typically between their late 30s and mid-50s. It is often triggered by the realization that life is finite and that certain goals, identities, or dreams may no longer be attainable—or may need to be redefined. Importantly, not all men experience a midlife crisis. For many, midlife is a time of stability or growth. The term describes a pattern of responses rather than an inevitable life stage. Now that I think of it, I did see this in some men.My brother had 2 motorcycles in is 30s, he quit for a while, in hid 40s bought a dirt bike than a second bigger one. Another firend bought a scooter (also used to have one when he was younger). It was a 400cc big Yamaha majesty just so "it would be harder to steal). Wouldn't mind a conve...

  If the YouTube link fails, listen to Ed Sheeran's Photograph. It took me this long to learn that each time you access a memory, you alter it a little. That's why over time and with enough accessing, you wind up deleting the bad parts of a relationship and only keep the good (or vice versa). In times before Social media and even TV, people used to spedn some time writing down their actions during their day, emotions, what happened to them. Tried a few times as a kid, nobody explained that emotions and human interactions were more important than homework subjects or what I ate so it didn't last.     I would have loved today to look back on those and try to understand why some of the things I do today are shaped by what I did or felt back then; I'm lucky enough that some conversations from an important part of my life (formative, one might say) and I'm only now realisng some stuff by re re reading them. Journaling would be a way to store for tommrow what you felt and...

If the Video link fails, Listen to Beyoncé – If I were a boy      I'm in my 4th decade of life, and I have been learning all my life. From learning to tie my shoelaces, to learning to read, to learning to debate or how to calculate the kinetic energy of a car based on the deformations after a crash, I have been learning. Not all that I have been learning was part of the school curriculum or my work-related goals. For example, I only started reading romance novels a few years ago in the interest of documenting a project. Yes, they are not psychology, yet they do give a window on how women wish love to work (most being written by women for women). Ah, the things I would have done differently had I red some of those in my adolescent years...        I have in my time learned about operating an AKM, a lathe, and a whisky still, how to build a composite boat hull; or how a sewing machine works. Some info was "maybe uusefull in the future, you do...

if thr link stops working, listen to Linkin Park in the end       My job is to make cars safer for passengers, as well as for other road users (pedestrians, cyclists) who can be hit by them. I live in the country with the highest number of road fatalities in the European Union. Yesterday we had a meeting with firefighters who specialise in extrication, trying to find ways to help them save more people. Everything went well until the moment we left. I was the last of the three cars to depart. We arrived a few minutes after a woman had been killed on a pedestrian crossing by a truck plowing into a stopped car. One of her feet was gone, but the lack of blood told me she had died at the moment of impact.her husband right beside her narowly escaped. The road is a two-lane dual carriageway with a concrete divider. The speed limit drops from 70 to 30 km/h for the pedestrian crossing, and there’s a raised bend plus an intersection — but no one slows down. (I pass there at l...